Tuesday, October 11, 2005

This Post Will Self Destruct In 3...2....1

The following is a phrase that I will never utter aloud. My husband will never hear these five words spoken from my mouth. At some point in the future when the snow is waist deep and the words wind chill are uttered daily, I will delete and destroy all references to this post.

I am happy it's Fall.

There, I said it. I'm glad it's fall. It was 53 degrees when I left the house this morning. It was beautiful. I enjoyed the darkness and the brisk temperature. I was glad for the end of summer.

To truly appreciate these words you must understand that I am always cold. All of the time. I love when it is 90+ degrees. I don't even mind humidity as long as it is not cold out. I own 4 space heaters and I detest air conditioning. The boys need to be lined up with sweat running down their backs begging for the air for me to cave. Even then, I need to wear a sweatshirt to stay warm inside.

I spend hours in the summer sitting in the backyard in my big chair reading in peace and quiet. The boys and my husband detest the heat so they hunker down inside and I retreat out to the chair with a book or the garden. Anything in the sunshine and warm air. In the winter, I cuddle into my overstuffed chair in front of the fire under a big fluffy down blanket and my flannel pjs to stay as warm as a possibly can in this artic tundra. I hate the cold.

Why do I stay in Minnesota? My husband won't move. I've tried to convince him. He won't. End of discussion.

This year the arrival of fall has been awful. It flip-flops between cold and hot. One day in the 90's the next it's rainy and 40 degrees out. Everyone has been sick. The fall leaves make my allergies flair up and I sneeze constantly. It's been so cold that you need the heat on at night and the air on during the day. .

The only thing good about the drastic temperature shifts is that every 6 months you get a new wardrobe. I also tend to think that I look slimmer in pants and sweaters that the normal summer clothes which is a small plus. Of course last week I dared to wear my first wool sweater of the year and the next day it was so damn hot I had to wear a t-shirt and was still boiling. By the time I got home from errands the shirt was drenched!

I am tired of the flip flopping and am finally ready for fall to begin. The last of the morning glories are done for the year anyway so I can throw in the towel. Oh yeah and raccoons ate my pumpkins last weekend so I've had it with the man against nature battle of the year. I will be fully retract this statement in a few months as I beg for mercy from the never-ending cold, but for now please let the normal fall weather take hold and stop playing with my emotions teasing me with the occasional hot day. Let fall begin.

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