Friday, August 19, 2005

I am NOT ready for Kindergarten

I'm not ready for kindergarten. Carter is ready, but I am most certainly not.

I have never ending list of questions questions. What does she need to bring? Who will her teacher be? Where is her classroom? Should she bring or buy lunch? Why can't he use is beloved Spiderman blanket instead of a beach towel? Why am I buying bottles of soap? If he does bring lunch, how will he ever remember his "secret code"? Should he walk or take the bus?

We have an open house next week that will hopefully answer all of my questions, but will more likely just bring to light a bunch of new queestions I haven't even thought of yet.

I am a work at home mommy. Carter has been exposed to daycare since he was 6 months old. He typically has been in part-time daycare which means about a 5 hour day. Perfect for the Kindergarten schedule which is a 6 hour day. We have our choice of either a full day program or a part day program in our area. I thought it best to go with the full day as it is the most similar to his current daycare schedule.

Over the years we have experienced many transitions, from full-time to part-time to mommy full-time to preschool. This transition is different, this one is permanent and marks a major milestone in his life. This is the day my baby becomes an official boy there is no more denial. He's going to school. No more let's skip daycare on Friday and go to the park. No more vacations in September (not like we ever did this, but for some reason this year we started to plan one until I had an oh sh*t momment. We can't vacation in September, Carter will be in school. My husband of course does not see the conflict. In his opinion, he's our son and we can pull him out whenever we want. I had to have the nice lady at the school registration office explain how school absences work to him.

I never thought this would be an issue. When I talked about Carter starting school, it got me excited. It's just as it looms closer that the panic has started to embrace me. Experienced parents tell me how normal my panic is and that it will pass.

The problem is not with Carter, he'll be fine. He loves meeting new people and learning new things. I could never come up with enough projects to keep him busy. I do have the smartest boy on the planet (mommy pride talking) and he needs new challenges. For the first time in his little life, he'll be independent of me. This is the first step of him growing into a little man, a teenager, a college student, an independent person.

I am thrilled for him. I will miss him deperately. I am extremely proud of him. My baby, the boy.


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